Can Facebook cause cheating, breakups, or divorce?


Believe it or not, there are people who actually sue Facebook because it “caused” their partner to cheat. Or to lie. Or it led to an impending breakup. The list goes on and on.



Googling “Facebook and cheating” or “Facebook and relationship failure” pulls up literally thousands of results. Yes, literally thousands. Even relatively scientific studies in nature have been conducted to investigate this phenomenon.

Recent studies show that:People are more likely to “stalk” their partner’s ex via Facebook, which has been linked to “Facebook-induced jealousy” and arguments between partners

  • People are more likely to reconnect with exes, crushes, or “flings of the past” and significantly increases the chance of an emotional affair or cheating.
  • Facebook makes it “easier” for people to cheat because it’s easy and generally starts relatively innocent. You can chat with someone free of charge and involves a degree of distance. These innocent interactions can quickly involve into something much more dangerous.
  • We get a lot of attention via Facebook. Even something as simple as a  photo compliment from someone we perceive as more attractive as our partner is linked to a “the grass is greener over there” mindset

So, I have to ask. Is there any validity in such dramatic claims? I’ve always been a proponent of if you’re a cheater, you’re a cheater. If you’re a liar, you’re a liar. “Easier access” to “the goods” or temptation via Facebook is no excuse to misbehave. I don’t think that “new media made me do it” is a valid excuse that I would ever buy from a partner. Nevertheless, I do see the possibility of temptation, particular from the standpoint of an emotional affair. How do we know when an innocent Facebook chat with an old friend has become inappropriate and crossed the line?

Facebooking is great for those who are never, ever, under any circumstances, going to cheat on their partner. It’s also great for cheaters who are going to cheat either way—Facebook just makes it easier. Facebook represents a serious problem for folks like me—the teeterers. By that I mean those of us who are not 100 percent likely to cheat, but who might, unintentionally, teeter on fidelity’s edge. Facebook is to teeterers what a bar is to recovering alcoholics. Don’t go there!


When I used to work at the matchmaking agency, I always used to tell clients that a relationship has become inappropriate if you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing the details of your conversation with a spouse or significant other. I’m not saying that you should – your Facebook conversations are private and a certain degree of privacy should remain in a healthy relationship. However, if your conversations are becoming excessive or to a point where you hide them from your partner, you might be “teetering” on infidelity.

I think technologies like Facebook make it easier for us to cross the line into infidelity somewhat. The ease of access and ability to get into more trouble, more easily has often been credited towards the destruction of a relationship. I don’t believe that for a second. Just as some guilty parties caught in the data leak scandal blamed for offering them a platform to cheat, you can’t say your bad behavior was because of Facebook. In life, we consistently make choices.

We need to be more careful with our behavior on Facebook. We need to consistently ask ourselves if we are behaving appropriately. How would I feel if my partner was consistently stalking my ex-boyfriend online, or telling random girls personal dreams and desires on Facebook he would never tell me?

Regardless of the certain degree of distance and anonymity we find on Facebook, it doesn’t make bad behavior any less bad. There isn’t a course in Appropriate Relationship Behavior on Facebook 101 you can take at your local community college. The rules aren’t set in stone. In a way, that’s kind of cool. You can use it as an opportunity to talk to your partner about boundaries and behavior.

This includes the possibility of a joint Facebook account, which I personally think is totally creepy and weird and the only time I find it cute is my great aunt and uncle who have one because they’re 90 and adorable.

(And yes, I do think that in most cases a joint account was the result of cheating. If you can’t even trust someone to not cheat on you again that you have to consolidate your online presence, is that a healthy relationship? Just my two cents.)


Retrieved from

Emerging media technologies offer incredible opportunities for us to re-connect with others, keep in touch with family and friends – and even (yes!) potentially meet the love of our life we wouldn’t have met otherwise. If you say that social media was the main cause of the destruction of your relationship, maybe it’s time to log off and evaluate other life choices.

Can Facebook cause cheating, breakups, or divorce?

Social Media, Millennials, and Depression: It could happen to you

As I sit in my sweatpants, propped up in my bed inside my Broadway-themed room that I insisted on when I was 14, I log in to Facebook like I do on most morning.

It’s not like my morning is unusual – 91% of U.S. millennials are on Facebook and a high percentage of those report checking the platform multiple times per day.

Jeff proposed to Jina last night, how adorable and someone even filmed it! Miriam posted her latest sonogram. Paulina’s maid-of-honor just added a pic of the smiling bride-to-be at the salon getting ready to be “made up” for her wedding today. David is traveling to London for work, he’s one of the few kids I knew growing up that got into a lucrative start-up while he was in college and now he’s making six figures. Tara’s in Florence, where she travel blogs for a living and gets three months off per year. Henry just signed a contract with NASCAR (!) yesterday.

And here I am, wearing sweatpants in my childhood bedroom in my parent’s house where I currently reside. It’s easy to feel inadequate or sorry for yourself without consciously knowing it.


Retrieved from in reference to a study from the University of Michigan. 82 students underwent a social media study. They found that the more time a person spends on Facebook, the more his or her feelings of well-being decrease and feelings of depression increase.

“Social media depression” is a very real phenomenon.

Particularly for college students and millennials, I don’t think that this topic gets the appropriate attention that it deserves.

Studies have shown that heavy Facebook use is correlated to feelings of depression and inadequacy, particularly among college students.  Many young millennials report that constantly seeing the great achievements of their peers leaves them feeling like they should be doing more – or better.

Nonetheless, it’s important to remember that we only show our best selves on social media. Why post about a boring day at work or particularly trying argument with a family member? Why post about anything other than great achievements or happiness? Our friends  and family don’t care that we went to the bathroom, had oatmeal for breakfast, or hate our jobs. Even though we spend so much time on social media, so much of our life goes undocumented on Facebook. We are all fighting our own very private battles.

So before you feel jealous of Paulina’s wedding, remember everything we don’t know about her life. Distance yourself from social media at times, and remember that someone is also probably jealous of you, too.

Do you have any tips for combatting social media anxiety or depression? Do you believe it’s a phenomenon that needs significantly more attention? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! 


Social Media, Millennials, and Depression: It could happen to you

4 Must-Have Holiday Wish List Items 2015: App-Controlled Devices

Where would we be today if it wasn’t for our smartphones?

No, seriously. I honestly can’t fathom where I would be today without my smartphone. Maybe since I wasn’t even old enough to drive when I got my first smartphone, it seems impossible to imagine a world without Google Maps to help you get around (because, come on, it’s impossible to read MapQuest when you’re in the car by yourself!) or to check the address of a restaurant.

I suppose we called 411 to get necessary info. What if we were out and about and we forgot our MapQuest and ON TOP OF THAT we realized that  vegan cousin Vicky was joining us for dinner and we couldn’t remember if the restaurant had options for her or not? Would we ask them to read the menu for us? Of course, even this fictitious scenario requires a cellphone (to call 411) and a printer with Internet (for MapQuest). Nonetheless, now that we’ve grown so accustomed it’s hard for any us to imagine living without them.

Not to mention, how did we ever even live (please note my sarcasm) without these app-controlled devices that incorporate some sort of emerging media element  for marketers to develop?

Nonetheless, the holiday season is upon us and let’s check out a few of my favorite gadgets that’s sure to be on everyone’s wish list!

  1. Fitbit Wi-Fi Smart Scale : You’ve heard of activity trackers that consistently monitor your activity and calories burned, but this smart scale will automatically add every weigh-in to your smartphone, customizable to your settings. The use of this scale is recommended in tandem with Fitbit’s online social community of other like-minded individuals looking to lose or maintain weight. You can also share your results to Facebook or Twitter to solicit support from family and friends to keep you on track! From $129.99
  2.  Double Robotics Telepresence Robot for iPad Tablet:   Want to creep out your employees while you’re away on business? For $2,500 you can have someone snap an iPad into a robot base – which you control remotely using a remote. It does look pretty ridiculous….



But the implications for future technology and the ability in which we communicate could change drastically in the future. Particularly for some individuals in sales and marketing, we could save significant amounts of time with the ability to travel and build relationships remotely. That is, if you can get over the whole looking-like-a-robot part. $2,500

3. The Smart (Cooking) Scale and Perfect Bartender: Yup, this is probably exactly what you think it is, but it doesn’t make it any less cool! Connected to via smartphone, the Smart Cooking Scale and Smart Bartender use the weight of the ingredient you place inside the bowl or cup to let you know if you’re putting in the right amount of everything. Accidentally add too much whiskey to your drink? The Smart Bartender automatically catches it and readjusts the rest of the ingredients you’ll need to add to fix it! Both devices have unique apps that include hundreds of recipes and discounts. As a marketer, the potential for similar devices is exciting! As a food company – think of the recipes you could craft  and food items you could sell to work seamlessly with such a device. Imagine being able to enjoy the benefits of a home-cooked meal (because let’s face it, microwavable isn’t just the same, even if it is all psychological) with much less work? Around $50 each

4. Smart PJ’s: Never did I think these day would come, although I guess I’m not altogether that surprised. These patterned PJs (pairs for little boys and little girls available) hold dozens of stories. All Mom or Dad (or anyone with a smartphone!) needs to do is “scan” a pattern on the PJ’s with their phone. A different children’s bedtime story will be revealed once the pattern has been scanned. It seems pretty difficult to keep track of which pattern you’ve already scanned (I can hear it now – “Mooooooooom, we already heard this one!) however again this also has some pretty cool potential for marketers. For example, what little boy or girl who loves Disney or Star Wars wouldn’t go nuts for a pair of their favorite patterned PJs with dozen of hidden stories (all related & connected, of course)? Since the action is really happening at the app versus the pajama source, “rotating” stories per season or the ability to purchase new stories also add an element of surprise. Or, you could just buy a nice handcover anthology of bedtime stories and do away with “smart” anything at night. Maybe, just maybe, I’m a bit of an old-fashioned 22-year-old. $30 each

What potential do you see for marketers as new, sophisticated technologies develop for consumers? Have we become too obsessed with “smart” objects or “smart” everything? How do we know when to draw the line? 


4 Must-Have Holiday Wish List Items 2015: App-Controlled Devices

Social Media And Your Job Search: What You Need To Know

What blog about millennials and emerging media would be complete without a discussion on Social Media and Your Job Search. Hopefully my use of capital letters helped to reinforce just how important this concept is.

Only 4% of job recruiters don’t use social media in the hiring process. This is both good and bad news for the millennial job seeker. You can tell your mom with 100% assurance that no, you’re REALLY not just goofing off on Twitter, you’re actually searching for a job.

(I’m looking at you, Mom!)

As marketers, we likely know (or should know!) how to navigate the social world. Of course, this gives us an instant leg-up compared to other job seekers. There’s no learning curve involved, so we can just go about our merry way and apply. However, as marketers, we’re also likely to have our own active social presence. While I know most of us young’uns probably hear this lecture every day, (I’m looking at you again, Mom! Just kidding… I love you) its importance shouldn’t be trivialized. 9 out of 10 recruiters scope you out on social media before interviewing you. Are you proud of your social profile?


Think before you post. 

Emerging media technologies including social media networks didn’t exactly come with a “rulebook” for jobseekers. If they did, it would probably need to be updated everyday as new networks pop up or privacy settings change. Keeping up with everything can certainly be exhausting.

Nonetheless: A good rule of thumb is to use common sense. Nothing on the internet is 100% secure anymore, no matter what you may think. Just because you think you have “iron clad” privacy settings doesn’t mean you do. Case in point: I know a girl who was very far in the interview process for a job. When the recruiter checked out her profile, she realized that she couldn’t see much of anything on her page but she noticed that they shared a mutual Facebook friend – a close relative of the recruiter’s. The relative scoped out the page for her and said that she posted a lot of inappropriate status updates complaining about her current job and photos of (herself) smoking marijuana.

Guess what? She didn’t get the job. The legality or ethics of that particular situation is a question for further discussion or debate.

What recruiters DO want to see:


Retrieved from

So while maintaining a killer web portfolio, LinkedIn page, and social search skills is important, equally important is to regulate your personal pages.

Have you ever found a job via social media? Do you have any “rules of thumb” for maintaining a professional presence online? For example, do you only post content that you’d be okay with Grandma seeing? Do you think recruiters have a right to check out your pages, even if it’s through other friends? Have you ever not hired someone because of something you’ve found on social media? Let me know in the comments below!


Social Media And Your Job Search: What You Need To Know

Go to the beach during your lunch hour no matter how cold it is outside: Virtual Vacations and the future of travel!

Did it just get cold where you live? After yet another day in Chicago with weather in the 60s yesterday, I (consciously) knew that our good luck was going to run out. I just didn’t think it was going to be so soon…

Today marks the emergence of my winter coat from the closet, with a severe winter storm on the horizon starting in about an hour. Sigh. All good things must come to an end.

Given the recent announcement of Marriott’s acquisition of Starwood Hotels, (to create the world’s largest hotel company) I thought speaking about their current technologically-driven marketing strategy would be particularly timely.

Take a trip to the beach (virtually!) with Marriott Hotels.  In 2014, Marriott Hotels introduced the first-ever “Teleporters” in public areas throughout New York City. Using advanced virtual reality technology, Marriott developed fully-immersive booths that “travelers” could step into for a 100-second journey to a Hawaiian resort. Wearing a virtual reality headset, the experience appealed to all “senses” with synthetic scents, fans, and a rolling platform to mimic motion. The response to the experience was so overwhelmingly positive, Marriott decided to offer in-room VR headsets by request starting in Fall 2015. While consumers can purchase their own VR headsets from any big-box electronics store, Marriott’s will be more sophisticated and offer content not found anywhere else.


Retrieved from Prodigy.Umbrella



Retrieved from

Nope, sorry, you’re still here.

While Marriott understands that virtual reality technology will likely never replace actual vacations, (and quite frankly, it would be counterintuitive for a hotel company to try and promote an alternate means of travel that would eliminate the need for their services) they hope their emphasis on technology will appeal to younger travels and millennials. However, Marriott could sufficiently develop the technology enough that travelers would be able to “preview” a new property. Additionally, they hope to offer immersive experiences to destinations that most travelers will never be able to afford, such as Mt. Kilimanjaro.

So what do you think? Is this just an elaborate, creative guerilla marketing stunt for Marriott? Marketing that employs virtual reality technology, a part of the “augmented reality” marketing movement, is growing increasingly popular across a wide range of industries.

Do you think there’s any chance that this technology will “take off” as a viable way for travelers to preview a resort or “travel” to an exotic, out-of-reach location? Or do you simply see it as an inventive marketing stunt – and that alone? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

Maybe I don’t have the time off to get to Hawaii right now, but I sure wouldn’t mind a brief escape to Hawaii during my office lunch break…

Go to the beach during your lunch hour no matter how cold it is outside: Virtual Vacations and the future of travel!

Digital Marketing: Does “our power” equal “our responsibility”?

Spiderman’s Uncle Ben once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” This post doesn’t have anything to do with defeating the Green Goblin, but this quote always comes to my mind. When thinking about emerging forms of media, we’re constantly reminded that technology is only getting smarter. More sophisticated forms of technology enable more interactive, immersive experiences for marketers to create for prospective customers.

For example, Toshiba is developing “digital changing booths” that allow customers to virtually try on clothes through a display using 3D scanners and cameras. While this technology has been attempted by brands in the United States and Europe in years past,  none have reached Toshiba’s level of sophistication. Imagine the impact that such a fully formed, developed technology could have on fashion retail marketing. It could be revolutionary. It could improve the lives of individuals who cannot change clothing without assistance, or those too ashamed of their bodies to try on new clothes.

Now, on the other hand…

Sophisticated technology can also have some pretty scary implications for marketing, too. I’m specifically referring to a 2013 “prankvertising” stunt in Brazil to promote the release of the latest Chucky film, horror’s lovable red-haired “doll.” (Yes, that Chucky.)


Retrieved from

Sorry for the scary image. I don’t like it any more than you do. Unless you like these movies. In that case, my sincere apologies.

In a lighted billboard at a bus stop in Brazil, an actor dressed like Chucky actually stood inside the billboard to spook unsuspecting transit riders. No one knew that a real actor was actually posing as Chucky. A normal bus stop poster/billboard it most certainly was not! Hidden cameras captured riders casually waiting for the bus. After a few seconds, Chucky’s signature laughter would be heard and the lights would flicker. While this spooked some, many still seemed relatively unfazed. However, a few seconds after that, the actor playing Chucky would suddenly “bust” through the poster, running after petrified and unsuspecting patrons with a toy knife. You can see the petrifying video here.

Personally, I don’t think such an adver-“prank” would ever “fly” here in the United States. I was shocked to discover that Universal actually approved this prank, given the potential for lawsuits. I don’t find such a prank to be funny at all, especially given current circumstances. Being chased by a “doll” wielding a knife, while perhaps “sounding” somewhat harmless, would actually be horrifying – and potentially scarring to many. Growing up in the United States, have I become too “PC” or do you agree with my thoughts?

Do you think that this is another example of a company using their marketing power for “evil” instead of “good”? Do we agree with me that we have a “responsibility” as marketers to consider the implications of our decisions? Let me know in the comments below!

Digital Marketing: Does “our power” equal “our responsibility”?

A Day In the Life: Community Manager

Confession: When I landed my first job as a community manager, I had no idea what a community manager even was. In fact, when I got my first-ever interview for a community management position I didn’t even apply for a few years ago, I almost turned down the interview. Why? Well, my logic was this. I’m not getting my marketing master’s degree to call noisy tenants and ask them to quiet down, or to investigate serious crimes like who could be parking in the wrong spot. If you didn’t understand my lame attempt at night humor, I was thinking of an apartment resident community manager.

What I thought the job was:


What the job is:


Of course, with a little research, I quickly realized that “community management” is a growing field within social media marketing, particularly popular in Spain and among tech start-ups. McDonald’s, Verizon, Hilton, and Microsoft are only a handful of power businesses with dedicated CM teams.

Before I share my day as a CM, I’m going to spend a little time describing the difference between a “social media manager” and a (social media) “community manager.”

Spoiler alert: There is no universal job description for a CM, as social media and other new technologies continue developing. Is there really a universal job description for any marketing job, anyway? However, in GENERAL, there are some distinctions between the two fields:

*Yes. I know it’s in Spanish – don’t worry. Translation to follow!


Retrieved Colateral Marketing

For those of you who do not read Spanish, (which, may I add, is an excellent idea for any future CM as Spanish is the second most natively spoken language in the world, after Mandarin Chinese) it says:

A community manager (CM) is both the voice of the brand to the community, and the voice of the community to the brand.

A social media manager (SMM) is the voice of the brand.


A CM creates engagement and builds relationships with the community.

A SMM creates personalized content, accompanied by a creative strategy for social media channels.

A CM manages the community with certain specific social media platforms.

A SMM works with marketing, branding, and public relations.

A CM focuses on the engagement of platforms on social media.

A SMM manages the holistic efforts of the brand’s online presence.

A CM creates and moderates conversations to boost and grow the brand’s social community.

A SMM focuses on the large scope of digital marketing and online marketing strategies.

A CM manages scheduling posts and updating social platforms.

A SMM Administers and controls the budgets for different actions of the strategy.

Of course, there is plenty of overlap between the two job descriptions, but community managers tend to focus their efforts on building a solid community of brand advocates.

Here’s an example. Let’s pretend that I’m a community manager for a collection of beach resorts all over the world. Let’s start by setting the mood a little:

beach_chair_sand_sun_2 I’m too embarrassed by the pitiful beach photos I’ve taken during my lifetime, nor could I find anything from Creative Commons that struck my fancy. Therefore, a generic stock image from Classroom Clipart will do.

Note: This description was written based on my personal experience as a CM, and research from SproutSocial.

Since we have customers all over the world, I could theoretically be working on any day, at any time. Today, I’m working a 7AM-3PM shift. I don’t get a lot of sleep, since it’s difficult to sleep after so many hours glued to the computer and I’m so wired after work. My team and I are basically powered by caffeine. I spend my morning searching Facebook and Twitter for mentions of our brand name. I see a few posts praising our new hotel property. I ensure to respond to each post, thanking our guests and asking thoughtful questions in the hopes of beginning a meaningful conversation. Once a social media manager arrives around 9AM, the two of us meet to discuss strategy. I’ve been doing a lot of social research, so we have a lot to talk about. Community managers spend a significant portion of their day looking at 1) what’s being said about their brand, 2) what’s being said about related themes or topics relevant to the brand, and 3) what’s trending on social media.

For example, looking at #travel on Twitter, I’ve found an unusually large number of people are talking about going to Hawaii than ever before. There could be a number of reasons why people are suddenly interested in Hawaii (such as a new movie out that’s set in Hawaii, or celebrities/dignitaries visiting the area). Regardless, since the overall sentiment surrounding this high volume of tweets is positive, I suggest our SMM create content promoting our Hawaiian properties. I provide further insight to the marketing team and make more suggestions for shareable reactive content.

After our meeting, I deal with a few angry Facebook posts. While this might be handled by a SMM in some companies, at ours I also provide social customer service. A few guests were upset that their hotel room wasn’t ready by check-in. Since their conversation about our property’s service was particularly negative, I brought the conversation offline by sending them a private inbox. I found out the guests were still in-house at our resort, so I ensure that a representative on-site follows up and brings them a complimentary bottle of wine.
Another critical component of my job is to try and initiate a non-intrusive conversation with (current) non-customers. For example, since we have a beach resort near Laguna Beach, I might search for #LagunaBeach on social. I could comment something like, “Great shot!” on an Instagram photo of a beach sunset. I would never write anything such as, “Great shot – but we have a better view at our resort!”

I have to be really careful so that I’m not blocked by anyone, or come across as annoying or too promotional. CMs walk a very fine line. I want to build a positive brand association or relationship with someone. Social media is “personal” and people don’t want to see advertisements. I can’t explicitly come across as a walking billboard. I also might search for questions on Twitter, such as, “Where’s the best place to view the fireworks on Laguna Beach?”

If I can, I will answer. Even though I’m not directly promoting my hotel, I’m attempting to be helpful. I’m attempting to build a positive relationship with a potential future customer.

Before I know it, my day is over! The best part of my job is that two days are never exactly the same.

Are you a community manager? What tips would you give future community managers? Is your job similar to the imaginary “island resort” job that I described?

A Day In the Life: Community Manager