Can Facebook cause cheating, breakups, or divorce?

 

Believe it or not, there are people who actually sue Facebook because it “caused” their partner to cheat. Or to lie. Or it led to an impending breakup. The list goes on and on.

Retrieved SantaBarbara.com

Googling “Facebook and cheating” or “Facebook and relationship failure” pulls up literally thousands of results. Yes, literally thousands. Even relatively scientific studies in nature have been conducted to investigate this phenomenon.

Recent studies show that:People are more likely to “stalk” their partner’s ex via Facebook, which has been linked to “Facebook-induced jealousy” and arguments between partners

• People are more likely to reconnect with exes, crushes, or “flings of the past” and significantly increases the chance of an emotional affair or cheating.
• Facebook makes it “easier” for people to cheat because it’s easy and generally starts relatively innocent. You can chat with someone free of charge and involves a degree of distance. These innocent interactions can quickly involve into something much more dangerous.
• We get a lot of attention via Facebook. Even something as simple as a  photo compliment from someone we perceive as more attractive as our partner is linked to a “the grass is greener over there” mindset

So, I have to ask. Is there any validity in such dramatic claims? I’ve always been a proponent of if you’re a cheater, you’re a cheater. If you’re a liar, you’re a liar. “Easier access” to “the goods” or temptation via Facebook is no excuse to misbehave. I don’t think that “new media made me do it” is a valid excuse that I would ever buy from a partner. Nevertheless, I do see the possibility of temptation, particular from the standpoint of an emotional affair. How do we know when an innocent Facebook chat with an old friend has become inappropriate and crossed the line?

Facebooking is great for those who are never, ever, under any circumstances, going to cheat on their partner. It’s also great for cheaters who are going to cheat either way—Facebook just makes it easier. Facebook represents a serious problem for folks like me—the teeterers. By that I mean those of us who are not 100 percent likely to cheat, but who might, unintentionally, teeter on fidelity’s edge. Facebook is to teeterers what a bar is to recovering alcoholics. Don’t go there!

Anonymous

When I used to work at the matchmaking agency, I always used to tell clients that a relationship has become inappropriate if you wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing the details of your conversation with a spouse or significant other. I’m not saying that you should – your Facebook conversations are private and a certain degree of privacy should remain in a healthy relationship. However, if your conversations are becoming excessive or to a point where you hide them from your partner, you might be “teetering” on infidelity.

I think technologies like Facebook make it easier for us to cross the line into infidelity somewhat. The ease of access and ability to get into more trouble, more easily has often been credited towards the destruction of a relationship. I don’t believe that for a second. Just as some guilty parties caught in the data leak scandal blamed AshleyMadison.com for offering them a platform to cheat, you can’t say your bad behavior was because of Facebook. In life, we consistently make choices.

We need to be more careful with our behavior on Facebook. We need to consistently ask ourselves if we are behaving appropriately. How would I feel if my partner was consistently stalking my ex-boyfriend online, or telling random girls personal dreams and desires on Facebook he would never tell me?

Regardless of the certain degree of distance and anonymity we find on Facebook, it doesn’t make bad behavior any less bad. There isn’t a course in Appropriate Relationship Behavior on Facebook 101 you can take at your local community college. The rules aren’t set in stone. In a way, that’s kind of cool. You can use it as an opportunity to talk to your partner about boundaries and behavior.

This includes the possibility of a joint Facebook account, which I personally think is totally creepy and weird and the only time I find it cute is my great aunt and uncle who have one because they’re 90 and adorable.

(And yes, I do think that in most cases a joint account was the result of cheating. If you can’t even trust someone to not cheat on you again that you have to consolidate your online presence, is that a healthy relationship? Just my two cents.)

Retrieved from Hot97.com

Emerging media technologies offer incredible opportunities for us to re-connect with others, keep in touch with family and friends – and even (yes!) potentially meet the love of our life we wouldn’t have met otherwise. If you say that social media was the main cause of the destruction of your relationship, maybe it’s time to log off and evaluate other life choices.

Social Media, Millennials, and Depression: It could happen to you

As I sit in my sweatpants, propped up in my bed inside my Broadway-themed room that I insisted on when I was 14, I log in to Facebook like I do on most morning.

It’s not like my morning is unusual – 91% of U.S. millennials are on Facebook and a high percentage of those report checking the platform multiple times per day.

Jeff proposed to Jina last night, how adorable and someone even filmed it! Miriam posted her latest sonogram. Paulina’s maid-of-honor just added a pic of the smiling bride-to-be at the salon getting ready to be “made up” for her wedding today. David is traveling to London for work, he’s one of the few kids I knew growing up that got into a lucrative start-up while he was in college and now he’s making six figures. Tara’s in Florence, where she travel blogs for a living and gets three months off per year. Henry just signed a contract with NASCAR (!) yesterday.

And here I am, wearing sweatpants in my childhood bedroom in my parent’s house where I currently reside. It’s easy to feel inadequate or sorry for yourself without consciously knowing it.

Retrieved from GuardianLv.com in reference to a study from the University of Michigan. 82 students underwent a social media study. They found that the more time a person spends on Facebook, the more his or her feelings of well-being decrease and feelings of depression increase.

“Social media depression” is a very real phenomenon.

Particularly for college students and millennials, I don’t think that this topic gets the appropriate attention that it deserves.

Studies have shown that heavy Facebook use is correlated to feelings of depression and inadequacy, particularly among college students.  Many young millennials report that constantly seeing the great achievements of their peers leaves them feeling like they should be doing more – or better.

Nonetheless, it’s important to remember that we only show our best selves on social media. Why post about a boring day at work or particularly trying argument with a family member? Why post about anything other than great achievements or happiness? Our friends  and family don’t care that we went to the bathroom, had oatmeal for breakfast, or hate our jobs. Even though we spend so much time on social media, so much of our life goes undocumented on Facebook. We are all fighting our own very private battles.

So before you feel jealous of Paulina’s wedding, remember everything we don’t know about her life. Distance yourself from social media at times, and remember that someone is also probably jealous of you, too.

Do you have any tips for combatting social media anxiety or depression? Do you believe it’s a phenomenon that needs significantly more attention? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below! 

 

4 Must-Have Holiday Wish List Items 2015: App-Controlled Devices

Where would we be today if it wasn’t for our smartphones?

No, seriously. I honestly can’t fathom where I would be today without my smartphone. Maybe since I wasn’t even old enough to drive when I got my first smartphone, it seems impossible to imagine a world without Google Maps to help you get around (because, come on, it’s impossible to read MapQuest when you’re in the car by yourself!) or to check the address of a restaurant.

I suppose we called 411 to get necessary info. What if we were out and about and we forgot our MapQuest and ON TOP OF THAT we realized that  vegan cousin Vicky was joining us for dinner and we couldn’t remember if the restaurant had options for her or not? Would we ask them to read the menu for us? Of course, even this fictitious scenario requires a cellphone (to call 411) and a printer with Internet (for MapQuest). Nonetheless, now that we’ve grown so accustomed it’s hard for any us to imagine living without them.

Not to mention, how did we ever even live (please note my sarcasm) without these app-controlled devices that incorporate some sort of emerging media element  for marketers to develop?

Nonetheless, the holiday season is upon us and let’s check out a few of my favorite gadgets that’s sure to be on everyone’s wish list!

1. Fitbit Wi-Fi Smart Scale : You’ve heard of activity trackers that consistently monitor your activity and calories burned, but this smart scale will automatically add every weigh-in to your smartphone, customizable to your settings. The use of this scale is recommended in tandem with Fitbit’s online social community of other like-minded individuals looking to lose or maintain weight. You can also share your results to Facebook or Twitter to solicit support from family and friends to keep you on track! From $129.99
2.  Double Robotics Telepresence Robot for iPad Tablet:   Want to creep out your employees while you’re away on business? For $2,500 you can have someone snap an iPad into a robot base – which you control remotely using a remote. It does look pretty ridiculous….

 

But the implications for future technology and the ability in which we communicate could change drastically in the future. Particularly for some individuals in sales and marketing, we could save significant amounts of time with the ability to travel and build relationships remotely. That is, if you can get over the whole looking-like-a-robot part. $2,500

3. The Smart (Cooking) Scale and Perfect Bartender: Yup, this is probably exactly what you think it is, but it doesn’t make it any less cool! Connected to via smartphone, the Smart Cooking Scale and Smart Bartender use the weight of the ingredient you place inside the bowl or cup to let you know if you’re putting in the right amount of everything. Accidentally add too much whiskey to your drink? The Smart Bartender automatically catches it and readjusts the rest of the ingredients you’ll need to add to fix it! Both devices have unique apps that include hundreds of recipes and discounts. As a marketer, the potential for similar devices is exciting! As a food company – think of the recipes you could craft  and food items you could sell to work seamlessly with such a device. Imagine being able to enjoy the benefits of a home-cooked meal (because let’s face it, microwavable isn’t just the same, even if it is all psychological) with much less work? Around $50 each

4. Smart PJ’s: Never did I think these day would come, although I guess I’m not altogether that surprised. These patterned PJs (pairs for little boys and little girls available) hold dozens of stories. All Mom or Dad (or anyone with a smartphone!) needs to do is “scan” a pattern on the PJ’s with their phone. A different children’s bedtime story will be revealed once the pattern has been scanned. It seems pretty difficult to keep track of which pattern you’ve already scanned (I can hear it now – “Mooooooooom, we already heard this one!) however again this also has some pretty cool potential for marketers. For example, what little boy or girl who loves Disney or Star Wars wouldn’t go nuts for a pair of their favorite patterned PJs with dozen of hidden stories (all related & connected, of course)? Since the action is really happening at the app versus the pajama source, “rotating” stories per season or the ability to purchase new stories also add an element of surprise. Or, you could just buy a nice handcover anthology of bedtime stories and do away with “smart” anything at night. Maybe, just maybe, I’m a bit of an old-fashioned 22-year-old. $30 each

What potential do you see for marketers as new, sophisticated technologies develop for consumers? Have we become too obsessed with “smart” objects or “smart” everything? How do we know when to draw the line?